This guide explains how to use Idyia Bliss Ⅰ, a small tongue-shaped vibrator: touch lightly, and when your clitoris starts to go dull, move away instead of turning it up.
Small means concentrated
Bliss Ⅰ weighs 35 grams and fits in your palm. All of its vibration comes out through a thin, tongue-shaped tip. When the vibration goes into a small patch of skin, that patch gets a lot of it. This is why it can feel surprisingly strong for its size, and also why it can overload your clitoris easily.
Two habits follow from that:
- Touch, do not press. Let it rest on your skin with almost no force. Pressing hard is a common reason it starts to feel sharp or numb.
- Side before tip. The flat side spreads the vibration over more skin. The pointed tip focuses it. The tip tends to feel best once you are well aroused and want more focus; before that, it is often too much.
How to hold it
Hold it between your index and middle finger, with your thumb under its base, instead of wrapping your whole hand around it. Your wrist stays loose and your hand does not tire as quickly.
Build arousal before you go near the clitoris
Before you are aroused, strong vibration on the most sensitive places tends to numb them or make you pull away. Once arousal is under way, the same vibration adds to the feeling instead. So the clitoris is usually not the place to start.
On the lowest setting, your inner thighs, your lower belly and the skin just above your pubic bone are good places to begin. When that feels good, the outer edges of your inner labia and the hood above your clitoris are the next places to try. Touching the clitoris through its hood often feels dull at first. That is what the hood does: it softens direct contact. For many women, if they give it time instead of more power, a clear, fine line of sensation comes through the dullness.
As you get aroused, your labia usually get fuller and darker, the skin around your vaginal opening swells and softens, and for some women the clitoris becomes easier to see as the hood draws back. Bodies differ in how clearly they show this. If things still feel tight or tender, stay where you are a while longer.
Step away, then come back
Clitoral stimulation that stays exactly the same for a while tends to fade. The nerve endings get used to a constant signal, and turning it up usually makes the dullness arrive sooner.
Instead of turning it up, try moving it away. Slide the tip down to your vaginal opening and rest it there, or let it go just inside, no more than a couple of centimeters, with a little water-based lube. The first few centimeters inside the opening respond mainly to light touch; deeper inside, the walls respond more to pressure and stretch than to buzzing. The feeling at the opening is different from the feeling on your clitoris, and it gives your clitoris a rest without stopping everything.
Then come back to your clitoris and notice whether the sharpness has returned. You can go back and forth as long as it stays comfortable; if your skin gets sore or irritated, stop. It is an easy step to skip, because it feels like giving something up just when it was getting good.
When you are close, many women find that keeping the same contact in the one place that works carries them over, while changing it at that point can make the feeling slip away. If that is true for you, hold still there.
Settings
A low, steady setting is a good place to build the feeling. Changing patterns can help when a steady setting has started to fade, because every change is a new signal. The higher steady settings tend to work best once you are well aroused; used early, they can make the numbness come early too.
If it suddenly feels weaker late in a session, check the battery before deciding you have gone numb. It slows down before it stops.
With a partner
Bliss Ⅰ is small enough to stay in a hand from cuddling to touching to sex.
- Your partner holds it. They can hold it between two fingers and use the rest of their hand to part your labia, steady you, or follow what your body is doing.
- You on top. It can sit between your bodies against your clitoris. It is thin and short. If it slips or presses uncomfortably, change the angle or hold it in place.
- From behind. This position usually gives the clitoris little on its own. You or your partner can reach around in front and hold it there.
- Face to face with your partner on top. There is very little space here, so it usually works best if you hold it yourself and choose the angle and pressure.
During sex, a low setting is usually enough. The vibration also reaches your partner, and a lower setting keeps both of you in control of the pace. It is usually easiest if you are the one who chooses the setting.
For many women, adding clitoral stimulation during penetration helps more than penetration alone. A toy this small is an easy way to add it.
Nipples
On a low setting, circle the outer edge of the areola with the flat side. The first seconds can feel ticklish or strange before they turn pleasant. Once the nipple is erect, you can touch it lightly with the tip. Light, brief touches tend to work better here than steady pressure, and the higher settings can easily feel like too much.
Who it suits
Bliss Ⅰ suits you if you like light, tingling sensations more than heavy pressure, if you are wary of anything too strong, if you want a first toy that looks small and unintimidating, or if you want something to add during sex without taking up anyone's hands.
It is not the right choice if you want something inside, if you like deep, heavy pressure, if you want to leave it running hands-free, or if you mainly want strong, high-intensity vibration.
Safety and care
More: lube and silicone, what water ratings mean, when to check with a doctor.
- Use a water-based lubricant. Silicone-based lube can damage silicone toys over time.
- Wash it with warm water and mild soap. Do not boil it or soak it in alcohol.
- The manufacturer says it can be rinsed under the tap, but it should not be soaked. Keep it out of the bath.
- It is for your vulva, the vaginal opening and your nipples. It is not for anal use: it has no flared base to stop it from slipping all the way in.
- If you use it on your partner as well, wash it before it goes back on you.
- If numbness, pain or swelling lasts after you stop, stop using it and talk to a doctor. If you are pregnant, recovering from pelvic surgery, or have an infection or broken skin, check with a doctor first.
- Store it away from other silicone toys so they do not stick together. The battery is small, so charge it every couple of months even when you are not using it.
What to take away
Bliss Ⅰ is small and concentrated, so the skill is a light touch and movement, not power. Build arousal before you reach your clitoris, use the side before the tip, and when the feeling fades, move away to your vaginal opening and come back instead of turning it up.