This guide explains how to use Idyia Bliss Ⅱ, a warming vibrator: why it warms up, and how to go from the outside of your body to the front wall inside.
What the warmth is for
Bliss Ⅱ heats its surface to about 40 °C, which is a little above body temperature. That is not hot. It will not feel like a heat pack. The point is simply that it is not cold.
Some people tense up for a moment when something cool touches their vulva or goes inside. It is a small, automatic flinch, and if you are already nervous it can be enough to stop things from getting started. A toy that is already warm skips that moment, and once it is inside there is no cold surface for your body to get used to.
Warmth is about comfort. It does not treat anything.
Warm it first
Switch on the warming before you start and hold the toy in your hand until your palm feels clearly warm. That takes about half a minute to a minute. If you start before it has warmed, you lose the one thing that makes this toy different.
Start outside, with the side
The body of Bliss Ⅱ is thick and very soft, with a head that is slightly wider than the shaft.
On the lowest setting, the side of the shaft laid just above your clitoris is a gentle place to begin. The side spreads the vibration over more skin; the head pointed straight at the clitoris concentrates it and can quickly feel sharp.
At first the sensation is often dull and spread out. That is fine for this stage. After a little while, a clearer line of feeling can come through. If it stays dull, or turns sharp, move it or change the setting. When a clear line does come through, give it more time rather than more power. Turning it up too early is how you end up numb.
When the outside feels good, you can move slowly between your clitoris and your vaginal opening, and rest the head at the entrance if that feels good. Do not push through tightness or pain.
Go inside when you are open, not just wet
Being wet is a reflex (more on this). It can happen early, or even when you are nervous. Being ready is different: for most women, the inner walls fill with blood, feel smoother, and open. If you put something in before that, it feels like pressure, your muscles tighten, and arousal drops. Bodies differ in how clearly they show readiness. If putting it in feels like pushing, give it more time outside.
When you are ready, use a little water-based lube and let it slide in slowly. The shaft is very soft, so it gives rather than pushing hard. Once it is in, you can pause and let your body get used to the warmth and the vibration before you move it.
The front wall
The G-spot area is a zone on the front wall of your vagina, the side toward your belly, just inside the entrance, where the skin feels slightly rougher than the smooth walls around it. Behind it lie the urethra and the spongy tissue around it, close to the inner parts of the clitoris. The front wall usually feels better once your body has opened; before that, touch there is more likely to feel like an urge to pee than like pleasure.
Point the head toward your belly and let it rest against the front wall. The slightly wider head gives you something to press with. Steady pressure, small rubbing movements over the slightly rougher patch of skin there, and the two together all work. A good one to try first is the combination: press the head into the wall and make small movements at the same time. Then keep whatever feels best to you. More: Touching the front wall: pressure, rubbing, or both. Small movements aimed at the front wall tend to do more than long, deep strokes.
What you feel there differs from woman to woman: deep fullness, an urge to pee, not much at all, or a mild ache. It is a normal mixed signal from the tissue around the urethra and the clitoris, not a full bladder, and it tends to come and go. If it is uncomfortable or feels like a real need to go, stop and go. More: the urge to pee during sex.
Angle matters more than depth
Later in arousal, the middle of the vagina tends to widen. So at this stage, angling the head toward the front wall usually does more than pushing deeper. Going deep before you are fully aroused can hurt and leave you sore afterwards. If it hurts, stop. Next time, wait longer before going deeper, or stay nearer the entrance.
Inside and outside together
Once it is inside, you can bring your hand or a second toy to your clitoris. The outside feeling is sharp and quick; the inside feeling is heavy and slow. The two may not blend right away, and you may find your attention moving between them. You can also take it out and go back to your clitoris at any point.
After orgasm, you can switch off the vibration and leave the warm toy inside for a few seconds before you take it out. Some women like the feeling of their muscles closing around something warm.
With a partner
- During foreplay. Your partner can hold it on the outside and at the entrance for as long as you like. You can both adjust the pressure and timing as you go.
- During sex. With you on top or from behind, you can hold it against your clitoris on a low setting. The vibration also reaches your partner, and a lower setting keeps the pace in your hands.
Who it suits
Bliss Ⅱ suits you if you want a first toy that goes inside but is not large, if cold toys put you off, or if you want one toy you can use outside and inside.
It is not the right choice if you want strong, hard impact, if you only want quick clitoral stimulation, if a diameter of about 3.5 cm is more than you are comfortable with, or if you want something hands-free or remote-controlled. It is not for anal use: it has no flared base to stop it from going all the way in.
Safety and care
More: lube and silicone, what water ratings mean, when to check with a doctor.
- Use a water-based lubricant. Silicone-based lube can damage silicone toys over time.
- If it ever feels hot rather than warm, switch the heating off.
- Wash it with warm water and mild soap. Do not boil it or soak it in alcohol, which can make the silicone go hard.
- Its water rating is not listed, so rinse it carefully and do not submerge it.
- If you use it on your partner as well, wash it before it goes back inside you.
- If pain, numbness or swelling lasts after you stop, stop using it and talk to a doctor. If you are pregnant, recovering from pelvic surgery, or have an infection or broken skin, check with a doctor before using an internal toy.
- Store it away from other silicone toys so they do not stick together. Charge it every couple of months if you are not using it.
What to take away
The warmth in Bliss Ⅱ is there so your body does not flinch at the first touch. Let it warm fully, start outside with the side of the shaft, go in once your body has opened rather than as soon as you are wet, and aim at the front wall instead of reaching deep.