This guide explains how to use Idyia Bliss Ⅲ the way it was shaped to be used: on both sides of your clitoris instead of on its tip.
Your clitoris is mostly underneath
The part of your clitoris you can see, the glans under the small hood at the top of your vulva, is its tip. It is small and packed with nerve endings. Behind it, under the skin, the body of the clitoris runs back and then divides into two legs, called crura, that spread out along the bones on either side. Separately, two bulbs of erectile tissue lie under your labia on both sides of your vaginal opening. When you are aroused, all of these fill with blood and swell.
This explains something many women know from experience. A vibrator pressed straight onto the glans can feel sharp at first and then go numb, because the glans is the most sensitive part and the easiest to overload. Contact beside the glans, on the hood and the skin around it, is easier for many women to stay with.
What the forked top does
Bliss Ⅲ has a soft top that splits into two tips, with a separate motor in each. The tips are spaced to sit on either side of the clitoris, with the glans in the gap between them rather than under pressure. You may need to adjust it a little. You can also press the two tips toward each other when you want them to hold the sides more firmly.
The silicone is soft and bends against you, so the vibration spreads over more skin instead of pressing on one narrow line. If it feels sharp or starts to go numb, lower the setting or move it; that is your body telling you what it needs.
Let arousal decide the pace
The same vibration can feel very different depending on when you use it. Before you are aroused, strong vibration on sensitive skin tends to numb it or make you pull away. Once arousal is under way, the same setting adds to the feeling instead. So instead of following a fixed order, watch what your body is doing:
- If you are just starting, the lowest setting on your inner thighs, lower belly or outer labia gives your body time to catch up, and the clitoris is not yet the place for strength.
- If it feels good to have it on your vulva, try resting the tips on either side of your clitoris and moving slowly along the line from just above the clitoris toward your vaginal opening and back. When the contact point keeps changing, the sensation stays fresh for longer. Pressing the middle and holding still is a common first mistake.
- If you feel full and soft, you may want more focus. That is a good time to close the tips. Closed too early, they tend to pinch.
- If things still feel tight or tender, more intensity usually hurts rather than helps. Stay at a lower level or go back to moving.
Arousal usually shows as swelling: your labia and the skin around your vaginal opening get fuller and softer. For some women the glans also becomes easier to see as the hood draws back. Bodies differ here, so your own sense of what feels good matters more than any single sign.
Lower down feels different
As you move toward your vaginal opening, the feeling often changes from bright and on the surface to heavier and wider. This is where the vestibular bulbs lie under the skin on either side of the opening. Some women spend most of their time in this lower part of the line.
Some women also feel an urge to pee when stimulation stays near the front of the opening. It is a normal mixed signal from the tissue around the urethra and the clitoris, not a full bladder, and it tends to come and go. If it is uncomfortable or feels like a real need to go, stop and go. More: the urge to pee during sex.
When it goes numb
A dull, buzzing, "I can't feel much anymore" sensation is a reason to pause, not to turn it up. Turning it up usually makes the numbness worse and can leave your clitoris sore. More: When it goes numb: pause, don't turn it up. Take the toy away, use your hand or nothing for a while, and come back on a lower setting if you want to. For most women the feeling returns after a rest. If numbness, pain or swelling lasts, stop using the toy and talk to a doctor.
The highest setting is strong. If you use it, stop as soon as it starts to feel dull or sore.
Using it during sex
For many women, adding clitoral stimulation during penetration helps more than penetration alone. Bliss Ⅲ is flat and light, so it can stay between two bodies.
- You on top. You control the angle, the depth and how much pressure the tips get. You can hold it yourself, or your partner can hold it while you move. Rocking or grinding keeps the tips in place better than bouncing.
- From behind. This position usually gives the clitoris little on its own. Reaching down in front of yourself to hold it lets you put it exactly where you want it.
- Lying on your sides. Your partner lies behind you and holds it in front of you.
Orgasm with a partner often takes longer than on your own. That is a normal difference in timing, not a sign that something is wrong.
Hands-free: between your thighs
If you like pressing your thighs together, you can place the toy between your legs with the tips on either side of your clitoris and close your thighs around it. Your legs hold it steady. With plenty of water-based lube, small movements of your hips can slide it along your vulva. If it rubs, pinches or slips out of place, stop and adjust.
Who it suits
Bliss Ⅲ suits you if you want a toy that stays outside your body and that many beginners find easy to place. It has three strength levels and six patterns, so there is room to build if you already have experience.
It is not the right choice if you are looking for a feeling of fullness inside. It works on the outside.
Safety and care
More: lube and silicone, what water ratings mean, when to check with a doctor.
- Use a water-based lubricant. Silicone-based lube can damage silicone toys over time.
- Clean the gap between the two tips after each use; lube and body fluids collect there. Warm water and mild soap are enough.
- It is rated IPX7, and the manufacturer says it can be used in the bath or shower. Avoid very hot water, and dry it before you charge it.
- If you are pregnant, recovering from pelvic surgery, or have an infection or broken skin, talk to a doctor before using it.
- If you use it on your partner as well, wash it before it goes back on you.
What to take away
Bliss Ⅲ reaches the clitoris from the sides instead of the tip. If you are warming up, you can stay low and move; if you feel full and soft and want more focus, you can close the tips; if you feel numbness or soreness, pause rather than turning it up.