This guide explains how to use Idyia Flame Ⅰ, a soft, curved toy that is made to rest against the front wall of your vagina and stay there, not to be moved in and out.
What it is
Flame Ⅰ is a vibrating egg with a curved body and a tail. The body goes inside; the tail stays outside. It is wrapped in soft silicone, so it gives a little when you press it instead of pressing back with a hard edge. It has three strength levels, and it comes with or without a remote.
Where it goes and why it is curved
The G-spot area is not a button. It is a zone on the front wall of the vagina, the side toward your belly, just inside the entrance, where the skin feels slightly rougher than the smooth walls around it. Behind that wall lie the urethra and the spongy tissue around it, close to the inner parts of the clitoris. That is why touch there can feel like several things at once.
Put Flame Ⅰ in with the curve toward your belly. The curve is meant to rest against that wall; you may need to adjust it a little to find where it sits comfortably for you. The tail stays outside. Depending on your body, it may rest near your clitoris or on the skin around it, so you feel some of the vibration outside too.
What you feel at the front wall is personal. For some women it is a deep, full pressure. For others it is an urge to pee, or not much at all, or a mild ache. None of these is wrong. If the spot feels like nothing, move the toy a little and notice what changes.
On the front wall, three kinds of touch all work: steady pressure, small rubbing movements over the slightly rougher patch of skin you can feel there with a fingertip, and the two together. A good one to try first is the combination: press into the wall and make small movements at the same time. Then keep whatever feels best to you. More: Touching the front wall: pressure, rubbing, or both. Left in place, Flame Ⅰ gives you pressure and vibration; holding the tail and rocking it in small movements adds the rubbing.
Wet is not the same as ready
Being wet is a reflex (more on this). It can happen early, and it can even happen when you are nervous. Being ready to have something inside is different. For most women, when they are ready, the inner walls of the vagina fill with blood, feel smoother and softer, and open up. If you put something in before that, it feels like pressure from outside. Your muscles tighten, you get less wet, and your arousal drops. The front wall also tends to feel better once your body has opened. Before that, touch there is more likely to feel like an urge to pee than like pleasure.
Starting outside gives your body that time. Hold the tail or the body against your clitoris on the lowest setting, or wear it over your underwear for a while. Stimulation through fabric is gentler, so it is less likely to make you go numb while arousal builds. When you feel swollen and soft, add a little water-based lube and let it in. Bodies differ in how clearly they show readiness. If putting it in feels like pushing, your body is telling you to wait a little longer.
Three ways to use it
The three ways differ in how much it presses.
- Worn. Wear it over your underwear on a low setting while you read, cook, or go about your evening. What this gives you is not strength. It is the feeling of something being on all the time, so you arrive at sex already warmed up.
- Left in place. Once it is inside with the curve toward your belly, you can let go. It stays against the front wall while you rest, lie with your legs together, or use your hands for something else. Stop if the pressure starts to ache or the feeling goes numb.
- Held. Hold the tail and press the body gently up against the front wall, then keep the pressure steady and let the vibration do the rest. Because you choose how firmly it presses, this is the way to make it strongest. Small rocking movements are fine if you like them, but the shape is not made for long in-and-out strokes.
You can move between these in one session, in whatever order your body asks for.
The urge to pee
When the front wall is stimulated for a while, you may feel a sudden urge to pee. It is a normal mixed signal from the tissue around the urethra and the clitoris, not a full bladder, and it tends to come and go. If it is uncomfortable or feels like a real need to go, stop and go. More: the urge to pee during sex.
With a partner
- Hand over the remote. Not knowing when the next pulse is coming is a different kind of stimulation from turning it up yourself. It works best with someone you actually want to be led by, who pays attention to how you react.
- During foreplay. Wear it while your partner touches you, and add intensity as you warm up.
- During sex. You can leave it inside while your partner's hands or mouth are on the rest of you, or leave it in while a second vibrator works on your clitoris.
Some women find orgasm takes longer with something inside. If that happens, it is a change in timing, not a sign that something is not working. If one more thing at once feels distracting rather than good, use one at a time.
When it fades
If the feeling fades partway through, that does not mean the toy has stopped working. Your body has settled into a sensation that has not changed for a while. Change the position a little, switch patterns, take it out for a minute, or go back to the outside. Turning it up when things feel numb usually makes them duller. More: When it goes numb: pause, don't turn it up. The feeling usually returns after a rest. If numbness, pain or swelling lasts, stop using the toy and talk to a doctor.
Who it suits
Flame Ⅰ suits you if you want to find out what the front wall of your vagina feels like, if you like the idea of wearing something or handing over control, or if you want a toy you can leave in place. The size is moderate and the body is soft, so it is a gentle first internal toy, and holding it against the front wall lets you make it as strong as you want.
It is not the right choice if you want a feeling of being stretched or very full, if you want heat, or if you only want stimulation on the outside.
Safety and care
More: lube and silicone, what water ratings mean, when to check with a doctor.
- Use a water-based lubricant. Silicone-based lube can damage silicone toys over time.
- Wash it with warm water and mild soap, including the tail and the joins. Do not boil it.
- The manufacturer says it can be rinsed under the tap, but it should not be soaked. Keep it out of the bath.
- If you play anally with a partner while it is inside you, anything used anally stays anal-only and must never touch the inside of the vagina, even after washing. Wash the toy before moving it from your partner's body to yours.
- If you are pregnant, recovering from pelvic surgery, or have an infection or broken skin, talk to a doctor before using an internal toy. If you have reacted to silicone before, ask a doctor before using it.
What to take away
Flame Ⅰ is made to stay against the front wall, not to be moved in and out. Build arousal outside first and let it in once your body has opened, not just when you are wet. Then choose how it rests there, worn, left in place or held, based on what your body is asking for, and treat numbness as a reason to pause rather than to turn it up.