Mindfulness Series: Delaying Orgasm, Part 10 – Advanced Techniques

Important Reminder:

Before beginning this advanced course, it is essential to have completed Courses 1-9 in the Mindfulness Series. These foundational lessons introduce key practices for mastering orgasm delay, breath control, body awareness, and using sexual fantasies effectively. The techniques taught here build upon those principles, so be sure to practice and integrate the skills from earlier lessons to enhance your experience in this advanced stage.

Introduction:

Delaying orgasm is a powerful tool that enhances sexual pleasure, but to use it effectively, you must be deeply attuned to both your physical and mental states. It is a skill that requires patience, practice, and mindfulness. This course is designed for advanced users who are comfortable with basic orgasm delay techniques and are now ready to explore the deeper, more nuanced aspects of mindful orgasm control. You will learn advanced breathwork practices, techniques for controlling arousal, and methods to synchronize your body’s responses to achieve maximum pleasure without climaxing too early.

This course will focus on techniques that go beyond the standard delay methods. We will explore how to control the build-up of arousal using mindfulness, advanced breathwork, body awareness, and focus techniques, ensuring a prolonged sexual experience with the ability to delay orgasm on demand.

1. Mastering the Art of Breathwork for Extended Delay

Breathing is one of the most powerful tools in orgasm delay. By regulating your breath, you can influence the level of arousal in your body, slow down or speed up the build-up to orgasm, and maintain control over your sexual responses. Advanced breathwork techniques allow you to consciously slow your heart rate and calm your nervous system, which in turn helps delay orgasm.

Key Techniques for Breathwork:

• The Slow, Deep Breathing Technique:
  
  
• Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for two seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of six. This breathing pattern helps regulate your arousal by calming your body and mind. It also helps to break the cycle of intense arousal by shifting your focus from sensation to breath.
• Example: During sex or self-pleasure, if you feel yourself getting too close to orgasm, stop the motion and focus on deep, slow breathing. This will help reduce the intensity of arousal, giving you more time to continue your experience.
  
  
• Alternate Nostril Breathing:
  
  
• This technique involves blocking one nostril and inhaling deeply, then switching nostrils and exhaling through the other. Alternate nostril breathing balances the body’s energy, calms the mind, and improves focus—key factors when trying to delay orgasm.
• Example: If you’re nearing orgasm, pause and practice alternate nostril breathing for a few minutes to relax the nervous system and restore calm, extending the sexual experience.
  
  

2. Engaging in Progressive Body Awareness for Orgasm Delay

Being mindful of the physical sensations in your body is crucial to maintaining control over orgasm. The better you understand how your body responds to arousal, the better you can delay orgasm. This practice involves focusing on specific areas of the body that are receiving stimulation, then consciously shifting your attention when you sense yourself getting too close to climax.

Techniques for Body Awareness:

• The Sensation Focus Technique:
  
  
• Direct your attention to specific sensations in your body during sex. Feel the way your skin reacts to touch, the tension in your muscles, the pulsing of your heartbeat. This technique not only increases arousal but also helps you stay attuned to your body’s responses, allowing you to back off before reaching the point of no return.
• Example: As your arousal builds, bring your attention to the sensations in your hands, feet, or face, areas less sensitive than your genitalia. This helps shift focus from the areas of high sensitivity, slowing the build-up of orgasm.
  
  
• The Scanning Technique:
  
  
• Conduct a body scan to assess where you are experiencing tension or heightened sensation. Start from your feet and move up your body, mentally noting where you feel the most pressure or excitement. If you find certain areas of your body becoming overstimulated, consciously relax them to lower the overall intensity.
• Example: During a sexual encounter, you notice that your clitoris is becoming more sensitive and aroused. Perform a mental scan of your body to relax other areas, such as your shoulders or legs, where you might be unintentionally tightening. This will help you release some of the built-up tension and delay orgasm.
  
  

3. The Power of Internal Focus and Mental Distraction

One of the most effective ways to delay orgasm is through mental distraction. Sexual arousal is both a physical and psychological process. If you allow your mind to become too focused on the physical sensations, it may lead to premature orgasm. By shifting your focus away from the sensation of impending climax, you can prolong the experience and keep your body from reaching the point of no return too soon.

Techniques for Mental Distraction:

• Mental Imagery and Visualization:
  
  
• Visualize something unrelated to the sexual encounter to break the mental cycle that leads to orgasm. This might be imagining a serene scene, focusing on the sounds around you, or thinking about a non-sexual activity.
• Example: During sex, you may feel yourself getting closer to orgasm. To delay the climax, mentally picture yourself in a calm place, such as lying on a beach or sitting in a peaceful garden. This mental shift reduces the intensity of your sexual thoughts, giving your body more time before reaching orgasm.
  
  
• Counting or Reciting Affirmations:
  
  
• This technique involves using repetitive mental exercises, such as counting backward or repeating a mantra, to refocus your mind. It can help delay orgasm by shifting your mental state and reducing the focus on physical sensations.
• Example: While being stimulated, start counting slowly from 100 down to 1. Each number will slow your thoughts and refocus your mind on the task at hand, allowing you to regain control over your body’s arousal levels.
  
  

4. Slow, Controlled Movement for Extended Pleasure

Physical control of the sexual experience plays a major role in delaying orgasm. Movement and rhythm can significantly impact your level of arousal. By practicing slow, deliberate movement, you allow the body to build excitement at a manageable pace without going over the edge too quickly. This technique involves controlling both the intensity and speed of your movements to manage the physical responses of your body.

Techniques for Controlled Movement:

• Slow Down During High-Arousal Phases:
  
  
• If you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, slow down or stop the movement entirely. Focus on maintaining a consistent, slow pace rather than accelerating. A slower pace allows you to enjoy the sensations for a longer period, helping to delay climax.
• Example: During intercourse, if you sense that you’re nearing orgasm, take a break and engage in deep breathing. Gently touch your partner’s body without thrusting, or shift to a position where the stimulation is less intense. This will allow you to regain control and enjoy more prolonged pleasure.
  
  
• Changing Positions for Control:
  
  
• Switch between sexual positions to manage stimulation. Some positions provide more intense stimulation (e.g., missionary, doggy style), while others offer less intensity (e.g., spooning). By changing positions, you can modify the level of physical stimulation and delay orgasm.
• Example: You may be in a position that gives you intense pleasure, but you feel close to climax. Switching to a more relaxed position, such as spooning or lying side-by-side, can reduce the intensity and help extend the sexual experience.
  
  

5. The Role of Communication in Orgasm Delay

Clear communication with your partner is essential when practicing orgasm delay. Both partners must be aware of the timing and be in sync with each other’s pace. Communication enables better synchronization of movements, breath, and intention, which is essential for successfully delaying orgasm.

Techniques for Communication:

• Verbal Check-ins:
  
  
• Before and during sex, establish a system of verbal communication to check in with each other. Phrases like “slow down” or “hold still” can help guide the sexual experience without interrupting the flow.
• Example: While engaging in sex, one partner may express that they are nearing orgasm. The other partner can then slow down the pace, change positions, or perform other techniques to delay climax. Open, non-verbal communication ensures both partners can work together in a mindful way.
  
  
• Non-Verbal Cues:
  
  
• In addition to verbal communication, develop a system of non-verbal cues to signal when you’re nearing orgasm. This might include squeezing the partner’s hand, a certain body movement, or a slight change in breathing. These cues allow you to stay synchronized in your effort to delay orgasm.

6. Integrating Tantric Techniques for Deepened Orgasm Control

Tantric practices focus on energy flow within the body, emphasizing slow, intentional movements and heightened awareness. This ancient practice is a powerful tool when it comes to delaying orgasm, as it encourages you to feel every nuance of physical sensation. One of the fundamental aspects of Tantra is that it teaches practitioners to separate orgasm from ejaculation, which is a crucial element for both men and women looking to achieve prolonged, multiple orgasms.

Techniques to Integrate Tantric Elements:

• Energy Circulation:
  
  
• Tantric practices often involve circulating sexual energy throughout the body instead of focusing all the energy on the genital area. Imagine that your sexual energy is a wave moving through your body from your base to your crown and back. This practice can help slow the arousal process while ensuring your orgasm is more expansive and less intense.
• Example: When you feel yourself nearing orgasm, focus on drawing the sexual energy up through your body to your heart center or head. Breathe deeply and slowly to encourage the circulation of energy, which will spread the pleasure throughout your body, postponing orgasm and heightening pleasure without overwhelming you.
  
  
• The "Yab Yum" Position:
  
  
• This is a Tantric position where you and your partner sit facing each other, with your legs entwined. This position encourages both deep intimacy and control over the pace of sexual activity. It also encourages breathing in sync with your partner and cultivating a shared energy flow, which enhances orgasm delay.
• Example: While engaged in the Yab Yum position, maintain slow, synchronized breathing with your partner. Focus on maintaining a gentle, steady rhythm while paying attention to the sensation of your partner’s body against yours. This helps control arousal and enhances the experience of delayed orgasm.
  
  

7. Understanding and Using Edging for Orgasm Delay

“Edging” refers to the process of bringing yourself (or your partner) close to the point of orgasm, then stopping or slowing down to avoid climax. The repeated practice of edging helps you build greater control over your sexual response and increase the intensity of future orgasms.

Key Techniques for Edging:

• The Slow Approach:
  
  
• Gradually increase the intensity of stimulation, bringing yourself or your partner close to orgasm, then pausing or significantly slowing down. The key is to remain mindful of your sensations, allowing the body to approach the peak of orgasm without tipping over.
• Example: During masturbation or intercourse, if you feel yourself getting close to climax, slow down or stop the movement. Focus on your breath and on maintaining control over the sensations in your body. You can restart the rhythm once the arousal has receded slightly.
  
  
• The "Stop and Start" Method:
  
  
• Similar to edging, the stop-and-start method involves stopping all stimulation completely as you feel yourself nearing orgasm. This could be done by changing positions or taking breaks. The goal is to allow the arousal to subside before starting again.
• Example: If you’re having sex, when you feel yourself about to climax, you might stop all movement and shift into a resting position, maintaining contact but not stimulating the body. Once the feeling of impending orgasm fades, resume the activity. Repeating this several times can help you prolong the sexual experience and delay orgasm.
  
  

8. Using Sexual Fantasies in Combination with Mindful Delay

Sexual fantasies can be an excellent tool for controlling arousal, especially when used mindfully. They can help you distract your mind from overwhelming sensations while still maintaining an elevated state of excitement.

Techniques for Integrating Fantasies:

• Shifting Fantasies for Control:
  
  
• Use fantasies to redirect your attention when you sense yourself getting too close to orgasm. If you are involved in a fantasy that is too stimulating, shift to one that is less intense or involves a less arousing theme. This can help you regain control and extend the duration of your sexual experience.
• Example: If you are fantasizing about something that is bringing you close to climax, shift the scene to a more mundane or neutral fantasy. You could imagine a non-sexual scenario, such as walking through a park or doing a familiar daily task. This mental redirection will help decrease your arousal without entirely disengaging from the moment.
  
  
• Building Layers of Fantasies:
  
  
• Use a series of interconnected fantasies that build on each other but don’t directly lead to orgasm. By constructing multiple layers of fantasy, you can keep your mind engaged while extending the sexual encounter. These could be situational fantasies or even more abstract ones that don’t necessarily involve sexual themes.
• Example: Start with a fantasy that is mildly arousing, such as a romantic encounter. If the sensation becomes too intense, shift to a more neutral scenario. Gradually reintroduce elements of the original fantasy without letting it overwhelm you, keeping the arousal level just below the tipping point.
  
  

9. Advanced Kegel Exercises for Orgasm Control

Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, giving you greater control over sexual function. Advanced Kegel exercises allow you to create even more refined control over your orgasmic responses, helping you delay orgasm or trigger multiple climaxes.

Techniques for Advanced Kegels:

• Contract and Hold:
  
  
• Perform a Kegel contraction and hold for 10-20 seconds before releasing. The longer you hold the contraction, the stronger your pelvic muscles will become, allowing you to control the intensity and timing of your orgasm.
• Example: While engaging in sex, use Kegel contractions to prevent ejaculation. Every time you feel yourself nearing orgasm, contract and hold for several seconds. This will help you regain control and delay orgasm.
  
  
• Quick Pulses:
  
  
• Rapid, pulsing contractions of the pelvic floor muscles can also help you control the build-up of sexual energy. These quick pulses help to reduce the feeling of impending orgasm and allow for better control.
• Example: During sexual activity, use quick Kegel contractions (pulses) while focusing on your breath. This will allow you to maintain a steady rhythm while delaying orgasm, enhancing the experience.
  
  

Conclusion:

In this advanced course on delaying orgasm, we have explored various mindfulness techniques, breathwork, body awareness, energy flow, and communication that can all be integrated to master orgasm delay. By combining practices like Tantric techniques, edging, sexual fantasies, and Kegel exercises, you can refine your ability to control your arousal levels, extend pleasure, and experience a deeper connection to your sexual energy. With practice, these advanced techniques will allow you to unlock greater sexual potential and experience profound, transformative sexual pleasure.